Go Green.

1-300-111-000..[Dialling....]

Welcome to C****M Centre. Untuk Bahasa Melayu, tekan 0. For English, press 1. Ni cio cong cing ma, pushit er. 

[Press 1 dengan berlagak sekali]

For C****M Postpaid customer press 1, For broadband enquiries press 2, to talk to our customer service press 3, to go back to main menu press 4.

[perhatian, press 2]

and god damn please direct me straightaway to the customer service la bai. [please bear in mind that the conversation will be recorded to ensure the quality and effectiveness of our customer service oh so damn bullshit pai pai]

Hello, saya Anuar Suara Lunak. Boleh saya bantu cik?

[oh my gucci, aku press for english and now i cannot speak in Malay ahahahhahaha ok bodoh jangan nak berlagak]

Yer encik Anuar Suara Lunak. Saya nak bertanya tentang perihal ebilling nie (ape kah dalam malay?) Kalau saya dah buat akaun di C****M ni kiranya saya dh sign up for ebillling ke? tapi di website awak enck Anuar SUara Lunak terpampang mengatakan saya perlu dialing ini number yang sangat hot  untuk memastikan diri saya boleh proceed dengan login untuk akaun saya.

Hmm Cik Ana Yang Jelita, saya perlukan number ic dan nama mak awak serta moyang awak untuk pengesahan diri.

Oh baiklah 2020202020 mak saya jeniffer lopez dan moyang saya bradd pitt.

Ok sah cik ana. saya bangga awak menelefon panggilan panas kami ni. tapi sebentar yer tentang pertanyaan td saya perlu sambung cik ke department berukben. bahagian payment. sebab saya ni encik anuar suar alunak sbanrnye adalah pak gad sahaja.

Ok lah. saya bersabar silalah sambungkan.

[berkumandang lagu lady gaga wutever jaiho ok bukan]

Yer Im Jenny with Fake smile. Can i help u miss?

[oh yeah now they put in line with US people, damn who's going to pay my maxis bill?]

Hmmm (hesitating to cut off the line or to continue..mahal bai panggilan nie pergi US dia sambungkan aku saja nak kenekan aku Anuar SUara Lunak nie)...This is the problem. I just wanna do the ebilling. can u help me on this because im just following what u instruct in the website....(senyum sampai telinga yes jenny on the line can help me)

Oh this is not my expert area miss.hold on ya....

[skali lagi ra ra oh ga ga on the line...memang aku suka sangat dgr lagu kau pasangkanlah smpai besok pon takpe aku bwk tido]

Yes miss, this is Ashraf the Hot Bachelor on the line. Can i help u..?

the same q and the same answer...

Ok can i have your verification ..bla bla nenek moyang tok kadok suma mau tau..nama boifren takmau tau ka?*ok blush*

Oh if that the case can you hold on for a seconds, i need to get verification from the right department...(me..&&()&^%^$#$%^&*()_(*&^%$#@)

ok whatever.....

put me in line again after several unjustified answer...

Im afraid miss ana, i need to use your email , and i can log your problem in our report so that our customer service can help you on this. as far as i know as long as u can sign up and login in the website you already registered for the rm3 waiver and ebilling, means no more printed bill at your doorstep everymonth. but letme check again with the department and get back to you? can you hold on for a seconds?

[ok enuff hold on kau igt aku nie menara maxis ke] Ok mr whatever your name is i dont want to know, why dont you just call me back after you got what you can answer me ok?

ok...

3 attempt...and fourth ringing tone.. [saja tanak jawab awal2 kita tengok skek kesungguhan dia menyelesaikan masalah aku]

ok cik ana, nie saya yang bercakap tadi. nampaknya masih sama, saya perlu logged in masalah cik untuk reporting dan saya akan menggunakan email cik. dlm masa 2-3 hari nanti akan ade staff kami kontek cik smula.

[me..laughing]

ok...

ada apa-apa2 saya boleh bantu cik ana lagi?

nope.terima kasih banyak2.

terima kasih kerna memanggil CELCOM CENTRE. Kami Sedia Membantu.

1. takpe kalau tak dapat selesaikan masalah aku tapi dh terang2 kat website kau ckp aku kene call number hot kau yang tak bergitu hot tu untuk sign up apehal kau punye staff sume cm blurr?

2. lepas tu jangan la nak hold call aku smpai 45 minits?

3. shesshhhhhh celcom-berukben streamyx sume nye sama je! hampeh!